The second single from my forthcoming album was released last week. It’s called Soft Target and it’s about being autistic (but you probably already know that, unless you are in the unusual and perhaps fortunate position of following my website but managing to avoid the landslide of social media updates).

You can buy Soft Target here

Or listen on Spotify here

Or watch the wonderful video, made by Abstrakt89, here

But that’s not what I wanted to say.

April is Autism Awareness Month, and yesterday I had the opportunity to chat to David White on BBC Radio Cornwall. It was really great, and I felt (maybe for the first time) completely sure of my autistic identity. And he played Soft Target, which was also great. Listen here if you like – I’m on from 1:44:45.

Anyway, before I went on the show I asked some of the autistic people I know what they would say if they had the chance, and I got some great responses. I’m sorry I didn’t have time to mention them specifically on the show, but they were in my heart and mind throughout. I wanted to share them here, for those people and for everyone else who identifies as autistic.

Soft Target is for all of you.

“Be curious about someone’s experience rather than let you own preconceptions cloud your responses to people. Just allow someone to be autistic, without judgment, whether they are diagnosed yet or not.”

“The reason people seek diagnosis is because support is limited to those who have a diagnosis, so no wonder there’s been an uplift in people looking for diagnosis, because they’re working in a culture of not being believed.”

“Please don’t say, “We’re all on the spectrum somewhere”. [People get confused about this because autism is a condition which exists across a spectrum, meaning that people who are autistic can be affected by the condition in very different ways. People who are neurotypical are not on that spectrum, even though they may at certain times experience some of the traits described in the screening tests]

“When we seem rude or have a meltdown, it is just that in those moments we don’t have the energy to ‘mask’ what we nearly always feel underneath.” [This isn’t an excuse for behaviour that hurts or upsets others, but it is an explanation of what has led to those behaviours. Understanding those triggers is beneficial for everyone].

“Please don’t assume we can’t be autistic because we have friends or we show empathy or we are articulate or we have a sense of humour. None of these things alone are evidence against an autism diagnosis.”

“It is really hard for us when things change and we don’t have structure.”

“Please don’t say, “You don’t look autistic,” there isn’t an autistic ‘look’.”

“If someone is ‘high masking,’ that does not mean that they have zero support needs or accommodations. That person is likely to be needing support or rest behind the scenes.”

“Please believe us when we say we’re struggling with something. Imagine if you came to me and said you were suffering from a physical condition and my response was, ‘Well, apparently we all have a little bit of Ebola,’ or, ‘Well, you’re moving your arms, so the broken leg can’t be that bad’.

“It’s hard when everyone thinks you are just over-dramatic and emotional for no reason. Sometimes people don’t get it and they gossip about me because I’m overwhelmed and can’t control my emotions. But I use music to share my story.”

“We learn in different ways and see things that neurotypical people may not see. And we’re on this planet for a reason.”

“Sometimes nobody understands you and you get shamed for it, even though you can’t help it. You have to put a mask on for everyone but when you take your mask off it feels like shame as people might not like who you really are without your mask. What helps is having trusted, patient people who love you for who you really are inside. And standing up for yourself and telling the truth about how hard it is”